Remember the world before November 2016? Happy and hopeful, gradually becoming a better place and most of us were working towards human equality, freedom, life in balance with nature by building a more durable economy. Then the US elections came and hit almost everyone in the face like hurricanes hitting the american coastline. Of course there have been a lot of other major political events happening with Brazil, Turkey, Russia, Venezuela, Syria, UK, etc but none of them seem to disturb the world balance as much as the Trumptard’s arrival as well as making almost all of these other events worse (he is a talented man). Anyways… months later and things are as terrible as I had imagined if not worse.
At the moment the US toddler in chief likes to tease the fat man from North Korea with hovering his tiny fingers above the launch-nuclear-weapons-button, you know, boys will be boys… At the same time there have been some recent environmental disasters causing massive flooding in India, Nepal, Bangladesh and the US. As extreme weather events are expected to increase and general sea levels are expected to rise due to climate change, you would hope global leadership would be spending at least part of their time trying to find a solution. But as one of them is withholding from participating (to all journalists interviewing politicians: it’s not as much a question of believing in climate change as it is of understanding it), he is also wasting valuable time of the others by being a total dipshit. But not to worry, I have found a solution to all our problems.
The solution
We will make a giant buffer for sea water that will prevent the sea level from rising. The concept is based on the dutch program “ruimte for the rivieren” / space for the rivers in which flooding regions are assigned. By creating additional space for the sea, the level will decline, decreasing the stress on the coastline.
How big should this buffer be?
Assuming we want to decrease the sea-level by 1 meter and we are able to dig 500 meter deep you would require the surface area of Turkey.
Where should this buffer be?
The total buffer zone can be spread out over several regions or one major buffer. The zones should preferably be in lower regions with few inhabitants. Can see you where I started digging?
Does it have disadvantages?
Of course not, what could possible go wrong…
What are the benefits?
You prevent a huge and global problem, while at the same time creating additional coast line and a new sea. Coast lines have the possibility of becoming economic zones both in terms of industry, business and leisure. Additionally you have the opportunity to dig up a lot of valuable materials from this land.
How do we make the buffer zone?
Digging a hole this big will be an engineering challenge, it will take years to get the job done, not to even think about all the planning and scheduling that will be involved. And this is where those disastrous nuclear weapons come in handy. We just need to come up with a cunning plan that will convince all those megaphones high on testosterone to launch all their collectables at the location of our choosing.
Within a couple of hours we will have solved to major world problems: the constant threat of nuclear war and the effects of sea level rise caused by climate change.
So what’s the plan:
- Find a location that will not hurt innocent people
- Find nuclear weapons expert to determine perfect launch recipe for maximum effect
- Come up with a cunning plan
- Can we make it more sustainable?
Is it ridiculous? Yes. But will it work? Probably not.
Problems today are increasingly more complex and connected and we need to learn how to think on larger scales and in more ridiculous ways if we are going to tackel them. If we do not figure out how to balance our human system with the natural system anytime soon, our future won’t be very funny. So tell me, how many impossible ideas have you had today?